dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The adults are the big ones right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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