I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
