If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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