Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize