I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
