My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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