Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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