Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
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I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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