im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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