Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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