I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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