if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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