So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize