she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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