I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
