how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
