you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
