I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
