How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
