I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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