I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
