I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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