I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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