so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had sex on a roof
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
