Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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