Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
there is glitter all over my balls
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