i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
