i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he puts the penis in happiness.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
