So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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