Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
