I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
