he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
