i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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