how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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