so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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