he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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