And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
