She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Less talking, more tequila
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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