whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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