you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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