Girls should come with a carfax report
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.