Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
