What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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