So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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