Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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