This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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