real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
