I think I died a long time ago.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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