hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
