Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
