when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
