piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
