Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
